Single on Valentine's Day


I want to get married and be someone's Valentine. It is a thought that comes to mind when I think of Valentine's Day and February as the month of love.

As every past Valentine's Day, I find myself single this year. I should be used to it by now, not getting gifts or love calls/messages on Valentine's Day. I'm sure you'll expect that I should have developed a thick skin but I'm human.

Now I know some people will say 'What's there in Valentine's Day?' or 'I don't believe or understand the hype of Valentine's Day' or 'Why is it that you must show love on February 14th, aren't you suppose to show love every day?' blah blah blah. Hmm I think people deal with being single or lonely during this period differently. Some people may have developed the above thoughts so as to guard their heart from the feelings associated with being single or not getting a gift or love on Valentine's Day because come to think of it who doesn't love been appreciated, showered with gifts and attention and the love that comes with the season, whether it is done privately (in the comfort of your home) or publicly (in your office, school, on the streets or social media).

I'm not going to act like it doesn't bother me that I have never been anyone's Valentine. It does (Big time!!!). I would love to get a phone call or text message saying 'Happy Valentine's Day Sweetheart'. Walk into my office to find a lovely card and box of chocolate from the love of my life (loml) and then after work, we can have dinner together and exchange gifts and kisses. But am I going to get that this year? NO!!! Why? Because I'm single to stupor, lol. I think I'm going to laugh cry this Valentine's Day.

Waiting on God for my loml isn't easy guys especially on Valentine's Day. A day where lovers appreciate each other with words, thoughts and gifts. I don't want to compare myself to the ladies who get all these things because comparison is the thief of joy and I understand that but then I still ask myself questions like
Why am I single again this Valentine's Day?
What is God's plan? and why is He making me wait?
Even if I don't have a husband or fiance on Valentine's Day, why don't I have an admirer or suitor (aka toaster) who will use sweet words and gifts to woo me?

I used to think it was because I am fat then I realized a lot of plus sized ladies are getting love on Valentine's Day. Then I thought it was because I'm funny and 'loud' but then lots of funny ladies get love on Valentine's Day. Then I thought it was because I wasn't 'slaying' enough but then don't plain Janes get love too. If being single and lonely hasn't had you asking yourself similar questions or have these thoughts then I applaud you and your strength and I hope that one day I'll be just like you.

I strongly believe God is faithful and when I read the stories of Ruth, Rebekah and Esther and how God gave them their men in just one day. I tell myself He is still that same God. You can read the whole of Ruth 3 for the story but my best part was when Naomi told Ruth in verse 18 (NLT) 'Then Naomi said to her (Ruth), "Just be patient, my daughter, until we hear what happens. The man (Boaz) won't rest until he has settled things today." Did Boaz rest? NO!!! He went into action and by the end of the day, Ruth 4: 13 NLT accounts that "So Boaz took Ruth into his home, and she became his wife. When he slept with her, the lord enabled her to become pregnant, and she gave birth to a son"

So here am I single, sad and lonely this Valentine's Day and wishing I had a husband/fiance to share the day with but hey I have God's words and promise and this Valentine's Day, I'm holding on to them, seriously holding on to them.

Okay so even if I'm single this Valentine's Day. I still have plans. I remember a Valentine's Day (I must have been 21 or 22) my sisters and I planned a wonderful outing. We had lunch at a Chinese restaurant at Victoria Island and then we had ice cream. We went to the cinema and watched a movie. It was a fun day and I enjoyed spending time with the women I love and admire but then that feels like a decade ago. I would love to do that again with them but we live in different cities. My sisters and my closest girlfriends all live in different cities from me, makes today really boring and lonely
My plan this Valentine's Day is simple. I am going to 
  1. go to work. I have a full time, 8-5 job and since this year's Valentine's Day is on a Wednesday, I will surround myself with positive and happy thoughts and guard my heart from work related drama
  2. go to church for mid-week service. Today is Wednesday, Jesus Christ is the ultimate date any girl can ask for.
  3. drink a bottle of wine I got from a friend last month. 
  4. DIY Facials and full body exfoliation. Skincare treats always uplift the spirit and makes the body glow.
  5. watch season 5 of Chicago Fire. If I had unlimited data or access to free Wi-Fi, I would watch romantic movies on Netflix. Since I don't have, I will watch season 5 of Chicago Fire that I downloaded last year.
  6. play music really loud and sing along on top of my lungs and disturb my neighbours (sorry but not sorry) but that is when I get tired of watching Chicago Fire.
  7. Sleep because God gives his beloved rest
Next year's Valentine's Day, I'm going to be someone's Valentine. Boy oh boy! I can't wait. It's going to be lit, lol (see me excited for 2019 Vals Day).

If you are still looking for the point of this post, it is that I think it's okay if you're sad and lonely on Valentine's Day as long as you don't harm yourself and snap out of it, nothing is wrong with you (as a woman or human being) if you're single and don't have that special man or lover who buys you gifts, sends you sweet Valentine's Day messages or woos you, God will fulfill his promise to you about giving you a loml and finally TREAT YO SELF!!! Spoil yourself silly. Buy yourself a gift, take yourself out to lunch or dinner, go to a spa for a facial or be like me and do a diy facial, have a laugh with your sisters or other single girlfriends or even a quiet night in relaxing and enjoying yourself. Main thing is TREAT YO SELF!!! 

Share with me and other readers your thoughts about and your plans for Valentine's Day

xoxo...Fehintola

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3 comments

  1. This was a beautiful outpouring of your heart, Fehintola. Thanks for sharing the sentiments that many singles DO feel on this day. I will be praying for you, sister. Praying for your joy, peace and patience in this season of your life. God's got some great plans for you, girl--greater than you could ever imagine. "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Eph. 3:20-21)

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  2. This was a lovely post. I definitely have these feelings this year, and other years that I've been single on Valentine's Day. It is hard seeing these people showing all of the 'love' they've received on Valentine's Day. I'm hoping that by next Valentine's Day I'll be in a relationship.

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  3. It is okay.Don't worry your true love will find you. Thanks for sharing

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